positive self talk

✨Positive self talk✨

One of the things I have learned is to be very good at editing my self talk. Whenever I catch myself saying anything negative towards myself I automatically change the thought into a positive one.

Basically, I don’t take any shit from myself anymore.

I wouldn’t tolerate any of my friends or family talking badly about themselves so why should I tolerate that for myself?

Also, when you stop taking shit from yourself you automatically stop taking shit from others. People also start to respect you more. Because even if you don’t talk about it they get the vibe from you that you’re not one to be fucked with.

Positive self talk is vitally important. We have to live in this body and in this mind of ours for now and it’s up to us to make this a nice place to live in.

For me it’s been a long process of getting better and better at this. Now it’s usually so fast that it’s automatic.

I see it as picking weeds. Or raising a toddler…

What I do is to talk back to myself. For example if I would think – I am such a failure – I talk back at myself and say – Well, I may fail sometimes but mostly I don’t. And that is good enough. I don’t have to be perfect. And what does being a failure mean anyway?

I also notice any negative generalisations. Anything that comes after – I am always…/I always… – is always a lie. Negative generalisations towards ourselves or others are simply not true. Even the worst of us have their good moments.

When my self talk is extra bad sometimes I just say to myself – STOP! Aloud if needed… I try my best to be gentle with myself but sometimes you just have to draw a clear line.

We can only hold one thought at a time and like attracts like. Negative thoughts attract more negative thoughts. Positive thoughts attract more positive thoughts. So by being vigilant and careful about what thoughts I allow in my head has really changed my life.

Repeat after me: I don’t take shit from myself anymore!

Do you have any tricks to help your self talk to stay positive?

Lots of love, Gian Tara

 

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Meditate! It makes you younger…

Hey! I am in the process of sharing something daily on the things I have learned on my spiritual journey so far.

It’s hard to know where to start. I have changed so much over the last few years. The biggest change is going from lost and unhappy to having a clear purpose and waking up happy pretty much every day.

Waking up happy is the best. Maybe joyful is a better word. I am simply full of joy most of the time. I don’t really need anything to make me joyful or happy, I just am.

The secret is meditation. I meditate every day in the morning and in the evening. More important than that I try to keep myself aware of my mental state as much as I can. I take a deep breath every time I feel tension in me. While walking I bring myself into the present moment by taking a deep breath and telling myself “I am here now.” Every time I realise that I am going mindlessly through my day I take a mental note, take a deep breath in and try my best to realign to being mindful.

All this was hard when I was starting out but it gets easier and easier. The trick is simply to start and then every time that you find that you’re off the wagon, just jump right back on.

It’s normal to start and stop and start and stop when you’re starting to meditate. It usually takes a while to make meditation a daily practice. Don’t be hard on yourself, just keep doing it as much as you can.

If you think you don’t have time to meditate you’re wrong. Meditation is maybe the only thing in the world that actually gives you time because it makes your brain younger. People who meditate live longer and age slower than people who don’t.

I’ll come on the livestream on my facebook page tomorrow at 6 pm to teach a short meditation. Join me if you can, or catch the replay later.

Copy of love yourself (1)

Self-love is the most unselfish thing you can do!

Hey! Over the next days I am going to be sharing some of the benefits of my inner journey over the last few years.
 
I’m going to start with the most important change in my life:
 
I love myself. Unapologetically and completely.
 
I don’t think I’m perfect, far from it, but that is not required. I just am, doing the best I can, and that is enough.
 
The strange thing about true self-love is that it makes you more egoless than ego centric. When you’ve got your obsession with yourself out of the way it becomes so much easier to serve. A lot of ego centric behaviour actually comes from a place of low self worth and fear of rejection.
 
Not loving yourself makes you selfish because you are constantly living with a low grade fear in the background, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of life. So you react to life, rather than act in a purposeful way.
 
Loving yourself makes you more unselfish because you are not living in fear anymore. You don’t really care what other people think because your core belief becomes “I am enough.”
 
From “I am enough” a lot of things open up. When you start living more in love than in fear you slowly start to see the big picture. So from “I am enough” you slowly get to “I am infinite” in the meaning, I am the universe, the universe is within me. As above, so below, as within so without. I am you and you are me, and that lead you to service.
 
As long as there is one human being in the world that is suffering, we are all suffering. Because we are essentially all one.
 
You start to see everything as a mirror. It’s very beautiful and very humbling at the same time. Getting angry at others becomes more and more absurd. But fortunately getting angry at yourself also becomes a waste of time. These days I try my best to simply recognise where I’m less than I want to be and do my best to change that.
 
Getting here was not easy. For a long time one of my core beliefs was that I was unloveable. It was not really at the forefront of my thoughts but it was at the back, directing my decisions without me realising it.
 
The way I got here was a very windy road. But I now have a full toolbox of tricks that I want to share with everyone that could possible benefit from that.
 
I use meditation and kundalini yoga all the time. I use mantras a lot. I use mindset practices to correct my thoughts. I use my emotions only (well mostly, let’s be honest) as guidance.
 
For the most part I don’t let my thoughts or emotions take me wherever they want. I direct them as I would direct naughty children when that is needed.
 
Do you have any questions? You can ask me anything!
 
Lots of love, Gian Tara